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2011年8月21日星期日

Blade Runner... 死亡

... all those moments will be lost in time... like tears in the rain ...
... time to die.

- Last words from the last fugitive replica Nexus-6, in Blade Runner


Blade Runner,  科幻片之精典作, 很久前看過幾次 VHS 版,  在黑沈沈、雨水濕漉漉的未來世界中, 描繪出一群真、偽生命 (記憶) 的苟延殘喘... 一直是一部自已憧憬的電影... 據說是第一部電影出版DVD 版本. 那時太貴買不起, 最近在52" HDTV 上看了圖書飴借的 Director Ridley Scott's Final-cut  Blue-ray 版本, 仍是黑沈沈, 卻細緻清澈緊湊多了,  也更加震撼於那般沒落的氣氛,  那般苟存於死亡邊緣的無奈與掙扎, 那般死亡的感覺...

死亡, 祇是個終止點... 生命、生存至終逃不過死亡...  自我的生存是靠一點過去的記憶去維持著這生存的意識... 然而這記憶是否真的、曾經存在過? 還祇是個幻覺? 衹是個假造?

死亡, 也是一直盤旋於心中的結... 是一切的終止, 生命自虛無中出現,  到感覺那自我的存在, 然後死亡回歸於虛無中 -  自我的完全消失, 沒有自我又哪能感覺這一切, 這曾經存在過的一切, 而這一切又到底是否存在? 自己到底是否存在? ...

懷疑這自我的存在...

 '82年的電影, 搆設那未來 2019年的 Los Angeles... 30年前的好幻想的2019年現在看來已沒多遠了, 從過去憧憬那久遠的末來而至時過境遷地已來到將來的現在, 似是好久前, 又似一瞬間... 生存到底是否仍有時間過去將來的意念, 記憶到底是否真的曾存在過... ?

It's too bad she won't live! But then again, who does?   - Gaff to Deckard

2011年8月7日星期日

Beautiful Boxer

好美好感動的一部電影...

Transgender 電影目錄中看到 Beautiful Boxer 的簡介, 一部泰國電影, 關於 transvestite 與 Thai Kick-boxing, 感覺是在利用泰國二個好極端帶畸型的現象作題材, 沒給於多少期望, Netflix 中排得好後, 這幾天沒新片看才輪到, 卻看到格外的驚喜.

導演Ekachai Uekrongtham 把二個相苛的型像拍得好和諧、淒美,  印象中暴烈殘忍的 Kick Boxing (Muay Thai) 好有男性肌肉的美感, 配稱哀軟的女性泰舞的手姿 , 極端中逞現的美... Nong Toom 怯怯羞羞的面容姿態與致命的殺手鐧的出擊竟能如此容和, boxing 中的口邊血漬更像抹散的口紅唇印...

Nong Toom, based on the true life story of Parinya Charoenphol, played by real Thai boxer Asanee Suwan

 Director Ekachai Uekrongtham
"I was hesistant to make a film about Nong Ioom's life at first. I'd heard of her and was intrigued by her story. To me, she's a walking paradox: a lethal kick boxer who fights like a man, but dreams of becoming a woman. The conflict within such a young person must have been extraordinary, I thought. There's certainly a fertile ground for a great deal of dramatic exploration. But I was not sure if I'd be able to find an emotional anchor to her controversial story for myself, for the audience.
. . .
So here it is... a story of a human being who goes on an incredible emotional journey to try to match his heart with his body. Masculinity Vs femininity. Hearts Vs Head. Dream Vs Reality. Fighting Vs Living."

被 promoter出賣到曰本與女摔角比賽後的自白好切實的一段:

That was the first time I fought with a woman.
And the first time I wasn't sure who I was...
and what I had become...
A woman in a boxer's body?
Or an animal in a circus show?

It's difficult to be a woman,  but you try not to forget who really what you want to be...

2009年8月16日星期日

"The Adventures of Priscilla..", Drag Queen, CD and etc

去library借dvd, 原本為找 "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert", "Boys Don't Cry", 網上介紹的幾套有關 ts 的電影**, 意外卻愛上了那隨手執到的 Om Shanti Om . 看完 Om Shanti Om. 再看 Priscilla, 一部澳洲Drag Queen 的電影, 同樣是帶著胡鬧、超現實, 以歌舞為題材, 看後心情卻沉重得很 . . .

故事: 三個 Drag Queen 結伴駕駛部大巴(名為Priscilla)跨越澳洲沙漠去 Outback 的 Alice Spring 表演 Drag Show, 延途的一些遭遇, 從中敘述每個主角的歷程心思 . . . 很受異端人仕歡迎的一部cult movie.
[ DRAG - DRess As Girl ...]

三個主角: Bernadette - Terence Stamp (Star Wars 中演 General Zod 那個) 演年邁的 ts, 硬板滄桑的面容, 穿著軟弱的女服, 悲嘆尋找人生的歸宿 . . .

Tick - Hugo Weaving (後來演 The Matrix 中的Agent Smith, 戴黑超黑衣的硬板面空, 印象深刻) 演個中年的gay, 沉重內疚那類, 曾結過婚有個兒子在 Alice Spring 那邊, 這旅程是他暗中想補償過去與對"親人"、對自己的無奈心結的解脫

Adam - Guy Pearce (L.A.Confidential內與Russell Crowe, Kevin Spacey 演性格警探拍擋) 演的是典型、誇張、flamboyant 那類gay, 代表還年青還能胡混的時侯, 以自己邊緣人的一點自我意態, 酗酒招搖, 最後還是靠成熟的車友去解救...

三個格格不入大男人式性格演員扮的 Drac Queen, 浪蕩地烏合一起於一部舊bus闖進空曠寂莫的沙漠路上, 和著Abba等 的舊歌, 繽紛誇張的服置 ('94 Best Costume Design Oscar), 那 Drac show 卻是異常的熱鬧、艷麗、湊合, 稱著延路的景色, 竟稱托得格外驚駭特異 (核突?)



80-90年代, 美國、澳洲西方跨性別文化大部份還是一種誇張的 Drag Show, 絕對誇耀的Drag Queen 總是走在 Gay Pride Parade 前端, 是"人妖"的寫實、是開放? 是自謔式的解脫? . . . 自己在這異地要面對的是與這種誇張怪誕的行為去認同, 感到恐駭難過 -- 自己會穿成這樣, 以如此心態衣妝, come-out 於這 parade 前嗎?

要不是那種濃妝豔抹性感得可怕的Drac Queen, 要麽就那種电視中極度誇張譏謔的女性動作的gay, 生活在這種環境意識中, 對自己的cd行為慾念、心態, 是種難究的 contradiction . . .

看完 Priscilla, 心情沉重, 複雜的自我、過去的印照, 想寫寫不出那般情結, 祇有去重温"Om Shanti Om", 沉醉那熱鬧繽紛中的超現賓, brain reset, 忘卻煩惱 . . .

(重新編輯幾次, 仍是亂七八糟, 唉. . . 不過也算是一個記錄、介紹罷 . . .)

"The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert"

1994 103 min
directed by Stephan Elliot

Terence Stamp, Hugo Weaving, Guy Pearce




** 幾部以 transgender 為題材的電影: (from www.superlimininal.com)

Soap, En (2006) Tranny slice-of-life movie. Touching love between a transsexual woman and a genetic woman both floundering and helping each other.

Transamerica (2005) Feliclity Huffman gives an Oscar-worthy performance of a transwoman reconciling her past on the eve of her final surgery.

Wild Side (2004) Transsexual actor Stéphanie Michelini gives an extremely intimate portrayal of some of the joys and difficulties of being transgendered.

Beautiful Boxer (2003) True story of the public transition of a Thai boxer.

Normal (2003) Reasonably realistic story of a man transitioning within marriage.

Badge, The (2002) Mysterious death of a transsexual woman. Somewhat educational look at what it means to be transgendered in America.

Cockettes, The (2002) Good documentary on a early San Francisco drag phenomenon.

Venus Boyz (2002) A fascenating glimpse into the worlds of drag kings and female-to-male transsexuals.

Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001) By far my favorite TG movie

Princesa (2001) Extremely realistic look at the life of a typical transsexual sex worker. Respectfully shows that being non-op is an acceptable choice.

Southern Comfort (2001) Excellent documentary on transsexual lives and relationships featuring a beautiful relationship between an MTF and a FTM.

Wonder Boys (2000) Contains a transgender minor character as the girlfriend of the character played by Robert Downey Jr. Notable in that her TG status doesn't become an issue or a joke.

Better Than Chocolate (1999) Nice, little story with a transgender character who's just another character.

Boys Don't Cry (1999) Very big and excellent biography of FTM transgender Brandon Teena.

Flawless (1999) Realistic story underscores the common humanity of a drag queen as discovered by a redneck character played by Robert DeNiro.

All About My Mother (Todo sobre mi madre) (1999) Just a fun movie involving a family member who has transitioned.

Ma vie en rose (1997) A touching story about a feminine boy who resists societal conditioning to be masculine.

Different for Girls (1996) A story of deep friendship.

To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (1995) Drag queen road movie. Not very deep but who can resist watching Wesley Snipes and Patrick Swayze in drag!

Wigstock: The Movie (1995) Penetrating documentary into the lives of drag queens.

Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, The (1994) A classic road movie with non-classic travelers.

M. Butterfly (1993) An amazingly good film.

Crying Game, The (1992) Love among the trannies.

Just Like a Woman (1992) Realistic look at some of the personal problems experienced by transgenders.

Orlando (1992) A rather boring movie IMHO, but main character experiences life from both sides and is therefore notable.

Prelude to a Kiss (1992) Another movie where people experience life from both sides, but this one is fun, sensitive, and romantic.

Switch (1991) Another died-and-sent-back-to-earth-fix-mistakes movie but with a twist: He's got to do it in a woman's body. Very funny.

Rocky Horror Picture Show, The (1975) Classic cult rock musical. Completely replaced by Hedwig (IMO) but lots of fun and great music.

I Want What I Want (1972) A very early look at the subject of sex-change. Poor movie and completely unrealistic but interesting historically.

Myra Breckinridge (1970) Main character changes her sex to exact revenge. Movie techniques are far ahead of their time.

Om Shanti Om

OM SHANTI OM



a Farah Khan film
"Om Shanti Om"

2007
162 min


ShanRukh Khan . Deepika Padukone . Arjun Rampal



剛看過幾期前明報周刋MPW中介紹的Bollywood電影, 在Slum Dog Millionaire 前從未結觸過印度電影, 好奇看到圖書館中一小堆印度電影dvd, 借了個封面最花綠那盤, "Om Shanti Om" 嘗試吓.

回家看完又看, 看了好幾遍了, 驚嘆那種超現實的歌舞、色彩、熱鬧, 怪怪的情節, 160多分鍾(好長但不膩)暢快的節奏, 不斷的驚喜, 忽然而來不問其由跳出來的歌舞、帶點不可思議的情節的變奏 ; 歌舞劇、喜劇、悲劇、懸殊、新舊、愛情、胡鬧集一身, 實是近年看過最精采、稀奇好玩的电影.

膚淺老套的情節, 卻有光怪陸離70年代的懷舊、迷幻, 配上劇情半路旋轉輪迴, 把前世今生混淆一起, 忽不然又是大跳歌舞一番, 找一大堆印度大明星一起跳, 半場來個慶功party, 以為算是結局了, 卻來個Phantom of Opera般的轉場景大變奏, 終場又再跳典型Bollywood大結局全體舞. 片子一氣呵成, 坐了半天看完還不盡興, 好戲連場. 很久沒有被電影如此放懷開心過了.

祇需眼晴看, 聽熱鬧抒情音樂, 完全不用腦的娛樂, 比80年代的香港电影更精釆、有型. 看來要去這裏不少印度人的小商店去找找dvd了.

女主角Deepika Padukone 處女作, 美極了...


p.s. 這 blog 也該有點平常生活的另一面, 孤寂星期日的意外驚喜 . . .

2009年4月1日星期三

Blow up


有看過 Antonioni 的 blowup 嘛? 好似香港原譯為"春光乍洩" 不是王家衛、哥哥那部同名港片, 是意大利neorealism大導拍的60年代英國片, 從現在电影檢視度算來還是部很暴露、色情的藝術作品; blowup 指相片放大, 描述攝影師從鏡頭中感到的、制造成的虛虛實實的世界, 很冷酷的一部电影. 中間有一長段鏡頭, 描述二個想做模特兒的少女找攝影師胡搞來博位, 在攝影棚背景幕前一場3p戰, 很心恫地互撕衣裙、襪褲直至全裸做愛... 現在重看dvd, 還是感覺激情得很...

第一次看 blowup, 是大學時選的 film appreciatio n課的收藏中無意找到的, 與上同課認識的女友在她宿所一起看, 那時還沒有dvd, 擁有部能動的 vhs 也不太容易的時代. 曾聽說這電影很激, 不是拍拖看的愛情片, 剛與女友拖過手, 親吻過, 又都喜歡欣賞藝術片, 就依著她偎在沙發上一起看, 很隨便在一起, 做功課嘛, 還要寫 paper 哩... 很喜歡看到她無意中露著一大段裹著白色半透明絲襪的長腳, 還伸在我懷裏蠕動著... 前半部电影較悶, 不容易領悟, 直到忽然湧現的那組激情鏡頭...

那時剛進入大學開放、多恣彩的生活, 沒太想自己易服的行為, 但看著那組鏡頭的進展, 那撕拉著彩色的襪褲的嘻嘩, 放蕩的那個少女追遂著剝脫羞澀的那個的衣裙, 淡綠的絲襪給拉成長長的一條, 裸露出毛茸的下體... 激情的動作使我衝動得難以自制, 好想穿著那少女的衣裙, 給那麼地撕脫, 那麼強暴地做愛愛, 手已不自覺地撫摸著女友的絲襪, 女友紅著臉, 色色地看著我,

"..嗯... 你也想呵?..."

自己迷迷糊糊地竟說出了深藏的心思.

"...嗯, 好性感噢... 唔, 好想那絲襪穿在自己身上被撕脫的那感覺..."

女友有點騖訝,也有點戲謔地要挑戰我..

"你白白淨淨柔弱得好女仔噢, 穿我的衣服也會好漂亮性感呵!"

拉著我去她衣櫃給我品選試穿, 還有一抽櫃的彩色繽紛的絲襪...

半掩地脫去我的男裝, 怯怯地套上條寬身連衣裙, 熟練地穿上了粉紅的絲襪, 展現我私隱的另面在她面前...

她嘩笑著撲過來, 像电影中那放蕩少女追逐著我, 想撕脫我身上的掩蔽衣妝,抓拉著我裹在粉粉絲襪中的細細的腳踝, 帶點羞澀的我反抗著, 也撕拉起她的衣裙與絲襪, 滚在一起, 半裸著, 撫摸著, 熱吻成一堆 還是她伏壓著我讓我進入她, 激烈地懦動著我, 一場激情放蕩的愛愛, 無盡縱情的慾火, 從來沒再如此激烈過...

之後校園中遇見她, 總是那詭異譏謔的微笑, 再也沒親熱過, 轉校後, 也沒再能聯係她...

CD, 從那時起, 多了性感、大胆, 那大學時放蕩不羈的曰子...


(2009.2.27原文 在hkcdfamily "新情分享", 為娃娃2046的" 大家爆料一些私事。" 覆貼形式試寫)