SO DARK THE CON OF MAN - 性 宗教 (二)

Excerpts from Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code", Chapter 28 (pp124-126)

... "the Priory's tradition of perpetuating goddess worship is based on a belief that powerful men in the early Christian church 'conned' the world by propagating lies that devalued the female and tipped the scales in favor of masculine." ...

"The Priory believes that Constantine and his male successors sucessfully converted the world from matriarchal paganism to patriarchal Christianity by waging a campaign of propaganda that demonized the sacred feminine, obliterating the goddess from modern religion forever."
...
So dark the con of man, he (Langdon) thought. So dark indeed.

No body could deny the enormous good the modern Church did in today's troubled world, and yet the Church had a deceitful and violent history. Their brutal crusade to "reeducate" the pagan and feminine-worshipping religions spanned three centuries, employing methods as inspired as they were horrific.

The Catholic Inquisition published the book that arguably could be called the most blood-soaked publication in human history. Malleus Maleficarum - or The Witches' Hammer - indoctrinated the world to 'the danger of freethinking women' and instructed the clergy how to locate, torture, and destroy them. Those deemed 'witches' by the Church included all female scholars, priestesses, gypsies, mystics, nature lovers, herb gatherers, and any women "suspiciously attuned to the natural world." Midwives also were killed for their heretical practice of using medical knowledge to ease the pain of childbirth - a suffering, the Church claimed, that was God's rightful punishment for Eve's partaking of the Apple of Knowledge, thus giving birth to the idea of Original Sin. During three hundred years of witch hunts, the Chburch burned at the stake an astounding five million women.

The propaganda and bloodshed had worked.
Today's world was living proof.

Women, once celebrated as an essential half of spiritual enlightenment, had been banished from the temples of the world. There were no female Orthodox rabbis, Catholic priests, nor Islamic clerics. The once hallowed act of Hieros Gamos - the natural sexual union between man and woman through which each become spiritually whole - had been recast as a shameful act. Holy men who had once required sexual union with their female counterparts to commune with God now feared their natural sexual urges as the work of the devil, collaborating with his favorite accomplice . . . woman.

Not even the feminine association with the left-hand side could escape the Church's defamation. In France and Italy, the words for "left" - gauche and sinistra - came to have deeply negative overtones, while their right-hand counterparts rang of righteousness, dexterity, and correctness. To this day, radical thought was considered left wing, and anything evil was sinister.

The days of goddess were over. The pendulum had swung. Mother Earth had become a man's world, and the gods of destruction and war were taking their toll. The male ego had spent two millennia running unchecked by its female counterpart. The Priory of Sion believed that it was this obliteration of the sacred feminine in modern life that had caused what the Hopi Native Americans called koyanisquatsi - "life out of balance" - an unstable situation marked by testosterone-fueled wars, a plethora of misogynistic societies, and a growing disrespect for Mother Earth.
...

微笑

筆友在訊息中附著幅近照, 埋怨拍得不好, 燈光、角度使角位和顴骨放大了... 細看那很有潛質的面型, 均勻修飾過的臉, 但比較印象中以前很深刻的容貌, 確似少了種光采... 唔, 是少了印象中甜甜的微笑, 是沒有笑容的臉, 顯示了繃緊的心神, 繃緊了整個圖像、訊息...

微笑, 能洩露心神的恬靜完美, 能感染周遭的心靈...

正在重温Dan Brown The Da Vinci Code, 看到描述 Louvre 中 Mona Lisa 那幾段, 不期然去細看 Mona Lisa 的微笑, 那眼神中透出的無止玄機...



The Da Vinci Code 中提及世人對 Da Vinci 這怪傑的許多端測; Mona Lisa 畫的成名主因是因為 Da Vinci 仲情這幅畫, 一直不離身地攜帶著, 更有猜測這是 da Vinci "in Drag" (cross-dressing) 的自畫印象, (用電腦可以分析da Vinci 與 Mona Lisa 的面型完全相稱...), 以及 da Vinci 的性取向. 書中重題提及到 Da Vinci 對女性的尊崇意念, divine feminism, goddess worshiping, 及畫中許多隱藏的玄機、雙關形像 (collage of double entendres and playful allusions), 與 da Vinci 對中性 androgyny 的一些論述很湊合

... "Actually, da Vinci was in tune with the balance between male and female. He believed that a human soul could not be enlightened unless it had both male and female elements." ...

連 Mona Lisa 的名字也可從字母拼排的演變端測到 da Vinci 對中性的意念:

A M O N / L ' I S A





Isis, 古時原名 L'isa, 是女性孕母之神 Goddess of Fertility...


Amon (amun ra) 是埃及的男性性徽像神
God of Masculine fertility...




Mona Lisa 是般神袐的微笑, 不輕易形容得貼切, 用中文衹有想及"拈花微笑"那種禪意...

扯遠了... 自小愛笑, 大概幼稚的笑頂可愛, 親人都說像女孩子, 大概雄糾糾的男孩子不單不能哭, 也不該微微笑, 祇可豪放狂笑, 自己野不來, 愈感覺自己太懦弱柔情不該是個雄壯的男性, 養成好內向怕羞的性格, 對自己性取向也愈迷罔, 見著人面紅靦覥不會說話祇會笑, 是傻笑... 留學回歸, 還習慣國外那般熱情, 見人終帶著親熱的微笑, 被人說黐線, 笑容也越來越收歛了...

發現自已變妝後自拍的照片, 正面拍的總是不漂亮不美豔, 不能 passable, 仔細看看, 都是沒有任何笑容, 繃緊的臉, 是那般繃緊的心情...

-- 寫給 文

不能說的秘密

Anonyme, Le Cabinet de Calzolari (ou Calceoloari) à Vérone


每個人都有個可大可小的櫃, 可收藏自己的秘密. 人, 總有點不想別人知道的事情, 是自己的空間、秘密...

櫃, 總是關得密密的, 盡可能地加把鎖, 明知櫃大力一拉就散了; 關上、鎖上, 祇是心理的安慰 ...

有時, 也會有意無意地開條罅, 抖抖氣, 不想彆壞了, 或者是想出櫃了.

人, 也總是好奇、八卦, 想開別人的櫃, 想拽別人的秘密... 小時侯, 就好喜歡去開關上的櫃、拉櫃樋, 把東西去攤出來... 大了(懂事了?), 才知道要收藏、有私隱.

有些秘密, 不能說. 愈親愈密的, 愈不能說... 坦白的結果是絕情...

衹當是 convenient liar, 或真是 Inconvenient truth? 不願去面對, 不能說的秘密...

朋友間, 有不能說的秘密嘛? 反而不熟識的人堆中, 反而沒甚麽不能說的秘密. 是少了負担、少了責任、抑是少了羞恥心? 這世間, 特別是網絡中, 有特多 Anonymous, 沒了自我, 就沒了秘密?

是否人死了, 秘密也就無所關係了. 變了"A tree fall in the forest"的無聲無息, 人生也無需計較那秘密與否了?

p.s. 近期 TIME 提及原作者死後私人blog、facebook等處理善後私隱問題, 有感.

(不好意思, 用了 Mabel姐blog的大題目作標題, 寫得不知所云, 但確是被Mabel姐的秘密給亂了心思...)

家庭的舊故事

[ 近來家庭論壇給一些搗事閒人搗得烏煙瘴氣, 煩擾之餘, 祇有去翻些舊貼, 不時還找到些精品. 這篇早期的"匿名"作品, 不知仍會有人去認領? ]


遊客 148.87.1.x

發表於 2002-12-14 04:57

My True Story My story is not a very exciting one. I am from Hong Kong originally, and now I live in the U.S.A. My parents always wanted a daughter but they got me instead. I cannot even remember when I started wishing to be a girl. When I were young (early Primary School years), my parent bought me colourful and soft panties to wear. I remembered being laughed at by my neighbors. Growing up, I have a lot more female friends than male friends. I don't like sports and my favourite hobbies are playing the piano and drawing pictures. Whenever my friends have new hair styles or wear new clothes, I recognize that immediately. Even though I wish I were female, I seldom cross dress. I keep my desire in the "wishing" state. In this world, there are a lot things you cannot change, and being male or female is one of them. I accept that I am a male and try my best to live as a male. Every male has some "female" inside and every female has some "male" inside. We may have more "female elements" than other males. Instead of being a CD, TG..., I use my "female elements" to become a better person. I got married 4 years ago. My wife's parents actually wanted a son badly. She probably has more "male elements" than ordinary female. So, our marriage works out pretty well. I do most of the housework and keep our home neat and clean. My wife works really hard and usually comes home pretty late. I believe you don't need to be a CD or TG to really "live out" your female side. Whether you look like a female or not is not that important. The most important thing is to understand yourself and accept yourself. I have some comments about those "science fiction" stories posted in this web site. I don't like most of them. There are too much sex in the stories. I wish I were a girl, but I don't want to be a sex machine with devil's body and angel's face. Most of those stories are completely male fantasies. I'd prefer something more from the female prospective. If I have time, I will try to write one and post it on this site.

曰落

太陽, 衹照常於千億年的運轉...

在這天涯一隅, 一個心靈卻驚駭於這一刻的壯麗

暫促地忘卻了煩憂琑事, 還啟示了眨然的禪機

陽光, 卻無聲無息地湮沒在天邊... 日已央

2009.9.11 1900 (也不過是一組數字)

性 宗教 (一)

Ooops, 這是篇寫了好久未能完成的凌亂的思維摘錄, 不時修修改改, 寫得不知所為, 結不了尾, 又不想全删了, 陰錯陽差, 不知哪天不小心按錯了發放鍵, 是上天看不過眼, 給小如出下羞... 旣然公開了, 衹好留著做框子, 有空、有靈感時再改改, 算是 Under Construction, 尚在挖教會的汚泥...
-- 9/27/09



幾星期前, 看了 "The Da Vinci Code" 與 "Angels & Demons" 電影版, 又剛好Dan Brown新書 "The Lost Symbol" 出版在即, 興起好好重看了二本原著.

重看時, 捌開了緊凑的故事情結, 才可以較能頜悟到故事後作者的含意; The Da Vinci Code 是宗教與性的衝突, 是被羅馬天主教庭鎮壓了二千多年的女神崇拜(Goddess worshiping, Divine Feminine)的掙扎作故事的背景, 而 Angels & Demons 是 da Vinci Code 的前集, 是宗教與科學的衝突, 二種極端的哲理意念上寫照, 帶著陰、陽的極端與對稱(symmetry)、相輔, 同樣帶著不少男(demons)女(angels)性衝突與共存的象徵性, 利用了羅馬城繁多的教堂中雕像作題材...

自小在教會學校中接觸了不少宗教(還另加上西方教會vs 本土拜神佛的不很協調的社會現象), 讀的、喜歡的卻是很理性的理課, 所以很能感覺到 Dan Brown 書中那種衝突. 自小對性的迷罔不協和, 也是給宗教中的罪惡感與靈慾左右著自己的思維、反抗力. Dan Brown的二本故事給自己不少聯想思考, 這裏想絡繹引述些這類衝突, 寫些感受...

* * * * * * * *

西方基督教 (Christianity), 是在利用人理性中的罪惡感.

遠自人之初亞當夏娃甞禁果而始的人之原罪, 實在是個無名之罪, 是對人性的極端踐踏汚辱, 卻還強意靠著教會的聖水去洗脫; 再大的罪惡, 衹需臨終的告解懺悔, 罪人也上天堂, 阿彌陀佛, 天堂上殺人犯多籮籮...天堂上有否輪迴噢?

教條中的禁慾、對性營造的罪惡感, 自小好奇的心靈給扣上對性莫明的恐懼, 那老神父上的性教育課, 祇記得他歇斯底里對自瀆的踐踏, 強調修道士偏激的禁慾, 造成對性總有著抹不掉的汚髒罪惡感 ...

把人最基本的生理結構, 描述成一種心理上的恐懼、罪惡感, 教會才有機會控制這大部份的人類, 畜為良民.

(有cd的慾念, 告解後就能戒去那"癖"習了嗎? . . .)

除非是澈底地洗腦, 我不想信任何的戒、我不敢肯定我明天會去做、去想的事, 同樣, 我不想信任何的寬恕; 已犯的罪, 應該永不會洗脫忘卻, 已做的事, 將永有個責任, 與教會. 我終無法接受協調, 永恆的天堂不可能存在...

就是不明白別人對宗教的誠心...

The Da Vinci Code 的背後, Dan Brown 試搆造羅馬天主教庭近二千年利用男權來低貶女性的假設theory, -- 為何救世主耶穌不能有神聖的性事、基本生理的生肓下代, 而反是無甚意義的"肉體復活", 他反的是教庭的無理荒謬, 倒還不至於反宗教的信仰

聖經中提到, 上帝以自己的形象創造了人的祖先亞當, 然後用亞當肋骨造了個女人... (近代研究聖經提議, 肋骨 rib 可能是翻繹古猶太文的錯謬, 該作"另一半"較準確), 大男人主義自然把上帝畫成了老公公, 但既然上帝是人的原本樣板, 至少該有男女雙性的特徵才是合理, 上帝是跨性別的, 上帝該是忽男忽女、又男又女、不男不女的 androgyne 才是呵!

以此, The Da Vinci Code 中耶穌的Mary Madeleine 老婆、傳宗接代的故事才合理化了, 大男人主義的教庭可硬要耶穌做個跨性別的聖人, 抑是硬要歧視、汚辱上帝的跨性別形象? 扭曲下歷史去做文章, 自當然成為best seller了...

反 反歧視

看"滙豐變性高層" 與家庭中的討論. 小如的感覺這事件是"May"的失策向媒體公開, 得不到同情, 反而禍來媒體一貫地刻意喧染誇張的反効果, 連家庭中的討論也淪為passable、男女厠及一貫空洞的"支持"聲音, 及無謂的cd/ts爭持...

從表面的有限資料去端測, 公司還是似有意在辦理May的特殊情況, 不大似觸犯一般的性別歧視攻策, 個別管理人仕的評言竟見、升遷決定多數不能搆成為公司的歧視, 特別是沒有任何前鑒或重覆事件...同樣公司也不應該就特殊(如性別)問題而給於個人特別待遇或遷就... 如果確有工作上的缺陷(譬如因離婚時期對工作的影嚮), 就更不該以"歧視"來作籍口或掩飾了... May 如此用媒體去共開公司的事件, 祇能杜絕可商酌的餘地, 感覺有點心痛這"最終"的一條死路...

作為邊緣化的群族, 許多時需要靠法律上的反歧視政策來保護自己、得以生存、發展自我, 但濫用"反歧視", 以"反歧視"來博取個人利益或借作藉口, 也是現今社會邊緣族的一點悲哀, 美國社會中利用種族歧視法律而造成不少相反的"不平等"待遇, 這是爭取來的利益? 抑實是增重種族際的敵視、不平等? 過份的"反歧視"口號與行動, 可能帶來更多的歧視, 相反的待遇...

已豁出去了, 感到好無奈的痛楚、迷罔、擾亂 ...